as expected...i didnt play a single game today...i was hoping to be down for KE7 and captain did put my name but i didnt have a chance to sub(substitute) in. maybe i could have been more enthusiastic in wanting to be a sub instead of standing there waiting for her to call me. dunno leh..guess i wasnt sure i was really down for the game..when i did say i havent been sub in n she had no one else she told me to prepare n unfortunately it was 1/2 time...when the 2nd half started she put in the main players again so there goes my chance of playing...sigh...i guess it's my hands...but i can do punches wat....n i can shout..call..n mark my winger...i know im not good la..but i was hoping that i could at least like play...like 2mins..it wun cost alot u know... sigh.... was really down the whole time..but then i realised there was d...she's a yr 4 n she only got to play against KE& and RH which was the last 2 matches...felt quite sorry for her also la..n there was wendy who also sat thru the whole thing w/o touching the ball... my 2nd yr as bench warmer..sigh... when ver asked me if i was joining again next yr my reply was super fast..haha..
but i really wanna thank JOSEPHINE!! THANK YOU DEARIE....Thank you so much for coming down even though ur sick... i really needed ur company...i was like trying so hard to keep my tears in my eyes..i dunno why i was so sad...i just was..maybe cos it's the 2nd time i dont get to play at all for the whole carnival...ego broken...it was more of ur presence then the things u said that really got me standing..i'm sorry but i must confess i wasnt really paying attention to all that u were saying..but u being there really kept me sane..heh... i really THANK GOD for you... =) i didnt feel anything when they won..i didnt feel anything...inside me was cold.. win win lo...doesnt matter to me..anyway we got 2nd placing... i'm still trying to get over the disappointment but i'll be fine..im just glad that it's over...all the politics..i've had enough..all the masqarade...i've had enough..i dont want to be in a situation where i have to keep protecting myself from being hurt.. damn it..why am i seeking man's approval..where have all my bible study gone...shld seek for GOD's approval not man's approval...haha..but i cant help it..im just glad that it's over... phew.. now's left with softball..i guess with one bad experience then i realised how impt softball is to me actually..haha..it's the only sport that i can play n no matter what i'll definietly play... n for every single match n inning..ill make sure i train hard now..for softball..no more complaining...jus train really seriously..no more playing ard... train hard!
i've had enough of hall that i even contemplated quiting hall..but i know i wun bear to..with my lovely b3 girls..they're my darlings...i love them...i love you all dearies..we keep each other firm on the ground, keep each other away from all the politics that will pull each other down..it's been a long time since we last all stayed together..i'm always not ard when they are ard... miss them...give me one more week to cool down then i'll be in hall more..i hope..heh...anyway im fine..i'm just venting and typing all my sadness out..more healthy this way...wun get depression... ^_^ great week ahead to all of u...
-Emmanuel-
Monday, January 24, 2005
Sunday, January 23, 2005
-memories-
met up with my secondary school mates yesterday night...was so happy when mabel called me and told me there was a gathering.at least this time it's not just me, mabel and the guys..our main point was to meet up with jennifer, who came back to singapore for hols... n the first time in so long, my secondary gathering was finally overwhelmed with girls..wuhoo...haha..
jennifer changed..something about her is different though i couldnt figure out what exactly...but she's definitely a tai tai..haha..everybody else were still the same...some of them i havent seen since i graduated can..it's been so long....was talking to shuwen on the way back n we suddenly realised that it's been 4yrs since we graduated from sec sch..those memories..i miss those times....
was very happy yesterday cos as usual, during a gathering we always talked about our past..what we did last time, the silly things, the funny things, the embrassing things, the brave things,so many so many...the nostalgic feeling is just so heartwarming..and with my 1MB memory space in my brain i was so glad to be updated of my forgotten memories by the rest n of cos desmond who has 60GB memory space in his brain..
apparently in jc, there was once where the 5 of us squeezed into a toilet cubicle just to escape flag raising. the challenging thing was we made sure only one pair of legs could be seen in case any teacher came in to check n one person will say she's having diarrhoea...yup so the other 4 of us were standing strategically on the what do u call that--the toilet seat? assembly usually last 20mins so we stood for 20mins n the most fun thing was we got away with it. no questions asked by our form teacher..i mean she loves us alot actually so she's really nice to us..nono i shld say she loves mabel alot..haha...she treats mabel like her daughter...
my class in jc was unfortunately constantly being marked by the disciplinary teachers and everytime, anything, they will come to us first and yeap, we always get singled out during assembly. even our own econs teacher had something against us girls..she even complained to the disciplinary master about our attire, but luckily he likes girls alot so he let us with "you all know what to do ah..." phew...
somehow i think those adolescent days were times where we just refuse to obey school rules and somehow school rules were suddenly implemented against us. like say when i was in jc1...alot of girls started wearing ankle socks and some of them were so short that they couldnt be seen so the disciplinary committee decided to set a new rule:u can wear ankle socks but they must be above the ankle...hmmmm...i still couldnt figure out whether the disciplinary committee understood what ankle socks meant..
ok, just some insight of my jc days..haha..my havoc days...wasnt any better in secondary school...oh, though i met my sec school friends some of them were from the same jc too so it was kinda reminiscing of 6yrs of memories..haha..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm so tired already..from all the trainings.i have to plan my time around it, my weekends burnt.i want to go home.i want to do things in my own time. this yr's ihg's more difficult to pull thru i dunno y..i tot last yr was bad but this yr's one's worst.i guess being in a team that is not united and knowing there's alot of bitching going around doesnt help. every time i go for training i keep praying in my heart that it'll end soon and i'll just rush back to hall immediately. this yr cos jos injured there's no one as my support in touch. though i know the rest, somehow i do wish there's someone i can stick to. was quite down yesterday when captain told me to join the training team and the seniors as a team against the main team. i know im not a good player but some ppl who didnt know how to play stayed to play in the main team, guess if u have speed u're one step ahead. i told myself it's alright cos playing with the seniors they will patiently teach us and hopefully i can learn new things from the game. but the most amazing thing happened was when we just started playing our 2nd '1/2' (we played 3 '1/2') (i was the winger--nearerst to the sub box-anyone not playing was at the sub box-), i heard one of the seniors say that i have ball sense and i can actually play. i found it amazing was cos when we play it's usually very noisy and somehow i heard that one sentence admist all the noise. though it may mean nothing to any of u, it encouraged me so much and it immdiately erased all the negative tots.. i just wanted to praise God at that moment for assuring me, after that i really put in my whole effort to play...
duno what happened today, guess i didnt slp well, i couldnt concentrate the whole morning..had softball training n i was so lethargic, i couldnt concentrate at all and i didnt catch a single ball, every ball went thru my legs..i was bugging my cap to make training short, everyone tot i was lazy but im not.i knew i wunt be able to perform which was clearly shown during the whole training.i'm tired of trainings, im tired of all these activites.i just want to study...
tmr's my touch ihg, i just want to ask God for strength to help me pull thru, i cant do it myself. i'm too exhausted from everything.
nobody ard...
jennifer changed..something about her is different though i couldnt figure out what exactly...but she's definitely a tai tai..haha..everybody else were still the same...some of them i havent seen since i graduated can..it's been so long....was talking to shuwen on the way back n we suddenly realised that it's been 4yrs since we graduated from sec sch..those memories..i miss those times....
was very happy yesterday cos as usual, during a gathering we always talked about our past..what we did last time, the silly things, the funny things, the embrassing things, the brave things,so many so many...the nostalgic feeling is just so heartwarming..and with my 1MB memory space in my brain i was so glad to be updated of my forgotten memories by the rest n of cos desmond who has 60GB memory space in his brain..
apparently in jc, there was once where the 5 of us squeezed into a toilet cubicle just to escape flag raising. the challenging thing was we made sure only one pair of legs could be seen in case any teacher came in to check n one person will say she's having diarrhoea...yup so the other 4 of us were standing strategically on the what do u call that--the toilet seat? assembly usually last 20mins so we stood for 20mins n the most fun thing was we got away with it. no questions asked by our form teacher..i mean she loves us alot actually so she's really nice to us..nono i shld say she loves mabel alot..haha...she treats mabel like her daughter...
my class in jc was unfortunately constantly being marked by the disciplinary teachers and everytime, anything, they will come to us first and yeap, we always get singled out during assembly. even our own econs teacher had something against us girls..she even complained to the disciplinary master about our attire, but luckily he likes girls alot so he let us with "you all know what to do ah..." phew...
somehow i think those adolescent days were times where we just refuse to obey school rules and somehow school rules were suddenly implemented against us. like say when i was in jc1...alot of girls started wearing ankle socks and some of them were so short that they couldnt be seen so the disciplinary committee decided to set a new rule:u can wear ankle socks but they must be above the ankle...hmmmm...i still couldnt figure out whether the disciplinary committee understood what ankle socks meant..
ok, just some insight of my jc days..haha..my havoc days...wasnt any better in secondary school...oh, though i met my sec school friends some of them were from the same jc too so it was kinda reminiscing of 6yrs of memories..haha..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm so tired already..from all the trainings.i have to plan my time around it, my weekends burnt.i want to go home.i want to do things in my own time. this yr's ihg's more difficult to pull thru i dunno y..i tot last yr was bad but this yr's one's worst.i guess being in a team that is not united and knowing there's alot of bitching going around doesnt help. every time i go for training i keep praying in my heart that it'll end soon and i'll just rush back to hall immediately. this yr cos jos injured there's no one as my support in touch. though i know the rest, somehow i do wish there's someone i can stick to. was quite down yesterday when captain told me to join the training team and the seniors as a team against the main team. i know im not a good player but some ppl who didnt know how to play stayed to play in the main team, guess if u have speed u're one step ahead. i told myself it's alright cos playing with the seniors they will patiently teach us and hopefully i can learn new things from the game. but the most amazing thing happened was when we just started playing our 2nd '1/2' (we played 3 '1/2') (i was the winger--nearerst to the sub box-anyone not playing was at the sub box-), i heard one of the seniors say that i have ball sense and i can actually play. i found it amazing was cos when we play it's usually very noisy and somehow i heard that one sentence admist all the noise. though it may mean nothing to any of u, it encouraged me so much and it immdiately erased all the negative tots.. i just wanted to praise God at that moment for assuring me, after that i really put in my whole effort to play...
duno what happened today, guess i didnt slp well, i couldnt concentrate the whole morning..had softball training n i was so lethargic, i couldnt concentrate at all and i didnt catch a single ball, every ball went thru my legs..i was bugging my cap to make training short, everyone tot i was lazy but im not.i knew i wunt be able to perform which was clearly shown during the whole training.i'm tired of trainings, im tired of all these activites.i just want to study...
tmr's my touch ihg, i just want to ask God for strength to help me pull thru, i cant do it myself. i'm too exhausted from everything.
nobody ard...
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Friday, January 14, 2005
-new family-
we have a new family in b3..... however, i dont think she'll be staying for long, cos joanne's tired of keeping it full time and the other owner-henry(doesnt stay in b3 though..) had enough of it after one night..haha.. i'm not a fan of cats, but i must try to pretend i'm alright with it if not the rest will purposely set the cat into my room or put me in close proximity of it... grr....
without photoshop i cant collate the photos so i can only upload them one by one... look on... ;)
--posing right face--
--left face now..--
--sleeping--
--oops..not a cat...just a lollipop that mr kee gave me...--
i forgot to mention how we got this cat..apparently begining of this week this cat came crawling into joanne's room at night and that was how it was adopted.. we suspect that this cat belongs to someone from eusoff hall, the hall beside us, cos there's news that someone lost a cat and the cat fits her description..anyway i doubt joanne's intending to give it back to eusoff..heh... anyway i duno the name of the cat, not sure if joanne n jos gave her a name, so i just refer to it as her... meow...
anyway for my own virtual pet, peggy..i deleted it from my blog cos it was causing problems on my blog... my orange penguin...i'll remember u....
without photoshop i cant collate the photos so i can only upload them one by one... look on... ;)
--posing right face--
--left face now..--
--sleeping--
--oops..not a cat...just a lollipop that mr kee gave me...--
i forgot to mention how we got this cat..apparently begining of this week this cat came crawling into joanne's room at night and that was how it was adopted.. we suspect that this cat belongs to someone from eusoff hall, the hall beside us, cos there's news that someone lost a cat and the cat fits her description..anyway i doubt joanne's intending to give it back to eusoff..heh... anyway i duno the name of the cat, not sure if joanne n jos gave her a name, so i just refer to it as her... meow...
anyway for my own virtual pet, peggy..i deleted it from my blog cos it was causing problems on my blog... my orange penguin...i'll remember u....
-expert photocopier-
2nd day of school and the library is filled with students queuing to photocopy their readings for the sem..walking into the copying room, it is not uncommon to see fellow social workers busy zapping their notes.. i seriously think social work lecturers are very thoughtful, training us to photocopy our notes every semester for every social work modules, preparing us for an alternative job career-- expert photocopiers... next time when i get my degree: BA in social work,it is no longer just a social work degree anymore, im also an expert photocopier... cos there isnt any fixed one text book that can cater to our module needs we have to resort to zapping them ourselves..n the system in the library is that we can only borrow ONE text book to zap each time.. thank God for all the nice social workers ard, who'll gladly lend me their printed notes n i just put in the feeder....zap zap zap... hee...
2nd day of school already and im so sian already... sigh.. how... my drive is gone.. i need to mug, really mug hard, but no motivation..i just keep sleeping n sleeping... hopefully the freshly zapped notes would motivate me to crumple them abit.. hopefully not end up throwing them in the bin...
ihg period now.. all the hall games going on..im so not pro hall... everybody's spiked up to train really hard and play really hard to win... im not that motivated sorry...i'll just play my best during that day and not make any mistake, thats how im going to skive thru..heh... touch, i kinda hoped they wont put me in main team, cos i dont know how to play and i might end up killing the team..softball, i'll just catch every ball and whack super hard out, thats it. i know im disappointing alot of ppl but i really dont care. i've had enough of ppl expecting from me. i can never satisfy them.. ppl only remember the trainings that i dont go n not those that i do go down..i have valid reasons for every single training i miss k... of cos that applies only to softball..heh... i skipped more touch trainings but yet they never complain..whatever...
busy busy busy.. those are three words in my mind.. but i know i'll get over it somehow..
jan n feb's my peak period with hall stuff and my academic commitment, visiting serivce centres, kaki bukit prison, hougang chalet etc etc.. i know it'll be fun even though it's xiong... anyway its something i really enjoy and every lesson and visit is an experience..yay... weekend coming...but my weekend's packed also..not something i look fwd to either...got trainingS on sat...my sat...sigh...but i'll go...it'll only be this mth n when ihg's over, another commitment down..yay...
okok..thats an update on my busy busy life... those aussis babes having their hols now, enjoy it!!!! slack as much as u can... =)
2nd day of school already and im so sian already... sigh.. how... my drive is gone.. i need to mug, really mug hard, but no motivation..i just keep sleeping n sleeping... hopefully the freshly zapped notes would motivate me to crumple them abit.. hopefully not end up throwing them in the bin...
ihg period now.. all the hall games going on..im so not pro hall... everybody's spiked up to train really hard and play really hard to win... im not that motivated sorry...i'll just play my best during that day and not make any mistake, thats how im going to skive thru..heh... touch, i kinda hoped they wont put me in main team, cos i dont know how to play and i might end up killing the team..softball, i'll just catch every ball and whack super hard out, thats it. i know im disappointing alot of ppl but i really dont care. i've had enough of ppl expecting from me. i can never satisfy them.. ppl only remember the trainings that i dont go n not those that i do go down..i have valid reasons for every single training i miss k... of cos that applies only to softball..heh... i skipped more touch trainings but yet they never complain..whatever...
busy busy busy.. those are three words in my mind.. but i know i'll get over it somehow..
jan n feb's my peak period with hall stuff and my academic commitment, visiting serivce centres, kaki bukit prison, hougang chalet etc etc.. i know it'll be fun even though it's xiong... anyway its something i really enjoy and every lesson and visit is an experience..yay... weekend coming...but my weekend's packed also..not something i look fwd to either...got trainingS on sat...my sat...sigh...but i'll go...it'll only be this mth n when ihg's over, another commitment down..yay...
okok..thats an update on my busy busy life... those aussis babes having their hols now, enjoy it!!!! slack as much as u can... =)
Sunday, January 09, 2005
-another photo collage-
another photo collage... my tk friends... yeap they're mostly guys.. the girls only left me and mabel le.. she's the da jie n im the er jie n these are our xiao di.... u all got ppl bully can come look for me..haha..and most of them end up in my jc class so we're all quite close... anyway its desmond and how chun's birthday 'party' at a ktv...for all ur info, desmond is the one in pink shirt,always acting cute..heh... n how chun is the one in white and red shirt.. my fellow taiwanese...(though im not la.. haha)
Friday, January 07, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
-new blog-
hi all... this is my new blog... nice? very sweet rite.. heh... took me one afternoon to fix it into this... anyway with this new website, i can post my photos... yay... so happy... here it is.. my attempt with photoshop... hey twins, i did learn how to use photoshop k... at least i managed to complete one thing i set out to do this holiday--learn photoshop. not a pro but good enough for now.. ^_^
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